**I posted this on Instagram last week, but since I haven’t posted anything on the blog for over a month (eye rolling at myself so hard!), I figured I’d repost and repurpose it here!**
Soooo for the last few months I have been seriously considering quitting Country Hipster, shutting down the blog, deleting my Instagram account, and putting my blogging days behind me forever.
It is no secret that my posts have been few and far between over the last year, which makes me sad because when I hit my year-mark last March, I did a big site redesign and was SO excited about the new look and had every intention of putting together some of the most badass outfits the blogging world has ever seen.
But after fewer than 20 posts over the last year, I’ve really been wondering if I even want to do this anymore.
I started this blog two years ago after a DEVASTATING breakup that turned my world completely upside down. When I needed something to keep me going, this blog gave me something to look forward to and get excited about. It was there for me months later when I decided to get help for my anxiety disorder. And even when I don’t post my daily outfits to the blog, just knowing this site is here has given me a creative outlet and helped me learn that it’s totally okay to dress however the hell you want.
But amid all that, I’m insecure.
Sometimes I hate how I look in pictures.
Sometimes I think no one cares about me or this blog or the weird outfits I put together.
Sometimes I feel like I don’t fit in in the “country” community, and even less in the blogging community where perfection is present even in posts that talk about imperfection.
As any blogger or creator will attest, it’s all soooo exhausting and sometimes doesn’t really seem worth it.
When I went to hit “delete” on my website one night last week, I just couldn’t bring myself to do away with countryhipster.com. And I have no idea why.
A big part of me really wants to quit, but apparently an even bigger part of me, way deep down, wants to keep going.
And so. I’m going to keep trying.
I can’t promise I’ll post every day, or even every week. But I am going to post. And when I do post, everything will come from the very bottom of my heart.
And so, although part of me wants to apologize for not posting very much over the last year, I’m not going to say sorry. Because I’ve been doing my best, and that’s all anyone really can do these days.
What I will say is this: thank you for sticking around. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for asking when the next post is coming. Thank you for telling me you think my blog is cool.Thank you for sharing my posts with your friends. Thank you for complimenting my outfits.
YOU are the real MVPs ?