I got an email the other day that made me pause.
I don’t get very many emails from people wanting to reach out to theeeee Country Hipster. But over the last week, I’ve gotten three. Which has been somewhat reassuring because I’ve been absolutely terrible at posting lately and all. But one of these emails came at an interesting time.
It came from a sweet, sweet girl named Rachael who wanted to know how I found the confidence to wear cowboy boots with literally anything. Here’s a bit of her email:
“For the past few years I’ve been struggling with self confidence and just like you, I adore wearing cowboy boots (I have 8 pairs and I’m starting to think it’s an obsession). I only really wear them with bootcut jeans. I want to wear them with more than just jeans. Your pics you’ve posted in your blogs look so awesome and easy to make throughout the seasons and when I look at them, I wonder if I’d be able to pull them off too. I really like the boots and shorts outfits and I thought just because it’s summer once again, I can try and pull this off. But because I’m so self-conscious about my looks I feel as though I can’t wear them, or I’d look “stupid.”
Would you happen to have any advice on how I can confidently wear my boots with shorts? My main concern is my wide calves. I’ve worn them with sundresses a few times but not as much as I’ve wanted to. Even wearing them with a dress, somehow I felt “funny,” like I shouldn’t be doing that or “you look so dumb wearing this” kind of thoughts. I’ve read and saved your “5 boot commandments” list but I also wanted to read what you’d have to say regarding self confidence and wearing cowboy boots because yours seems very high when it comes to creating outfits with them. :)”
First of all, GIRL I FEEL YOU. I passed the point of “obsession” a while ago…I don’t even wanna know how many freaking pairs of cowboy boots and western booties I own anymore.
^^^^this was over a year ago and I’ve acquired at least 8 pairs since then…….
But second, and more importantly, Rachael’s email really made me stop and think. As you all know, I haven’t been blogging a lot lately. I’ve tried to blame it on health problems (which are very valid reasons to take a break!), but in reality, I just haven’t felt very confident over the last few months. I don’t know if it’s the meds I’ve been on or all the medical bills piling up or what but one day I just started feeling really inadequate as a blogger and a writer.
All of a sudden I just started feeling like I didn’t fit in in the western world. I mean, after all, I don’t own a horse (someday!) and I’ve never barrel raced and I actually really, really hate rhinestones. To make matters worse, I also felt out of place in the blogging world in general. None of my selfies look good and I don’t have very many Instagram followers and most of the time I don’t feel very fabulous, like a blogger should I guess?
And so, when I first read Rachael’s email, I had NO. FREAKING. CLUE. how to respond. Because who the hell am I to give anyone advice on self confidence?!
But then I got to thinking. And I realized I actually had a lot of thoughts on self confidence. And so, I’ve come up with…..***drumroll!!!!***
….or at least fake it
Because Lord knows that we, as women, need as much advice as we can get when it comes to feeling good about ourselves. So here gooooes.
1—Stop comparing yourself to other people.
My momma gave me some really good advice when I was in high school. I can’t remember what I was stressing out about, but I was really worried about what other people thought of me. And she just said, “Taylor, you shouldn’t worry about what other people think because they’re not even thinking about you. They’re only worried about themselves and what you think about them.”
The older I get, the more I realize how true that is (damn it, moms really do know everything!). The girls around you don’t care if your outfit is “funny” because in reality, they’re worried that YOU think THEIR outfit is funny. It’s just an endless cycle that does no one any good. So just do you, pretty babies.
2—Erase the words “I can’t” and “I shouldn’t” from your vocabulary.
You CAN, and more importantly, you SHOULD wear those cowboy boots. Or those Converse. Or whatever it is that you’ve been dying to wear around more but are too scared to. If you love something, it’s gonna love you right back. SO WEAR IT.
Don’t stress the little things, whether it’s a little cellulite on your thighs or the weird birth mark on your stomach or the fact that you didn’t have time to work on your tan before throwing on that bathing suit.
Just breathe, relax, and have a good time. Life is too short to stress about the little things.
4—Focus on the good.
Okay, so, I KNOW it’s really hard to see past our insecurities. I’ll be the first to admit that my fat ankles are one of the first things I notice when I look at my outfits in the mirror. BUT, rather than focusing on all the things you don’t like about yourself, give space in your head for all the HELLA DOPE stuff you have going for you.
For example…I have a great butt. So I focus on it. (If that wasn’t the weirdest sentence I’ve ever written….)
5—Love yourself and your body.
Your body is a gift from God. Love it. Every weird, beautiful, crazy part of it. The world would not be the same without you, so go ahead and FLAUNT what God (and yo momma) gave you!
…..to answer Rachael’s original question: you CAN pull off the outfits I’ve posted here. You can pull of whatever outfit or pair off cowboy boots or crazy statement necklace you want to wear because you’re beautiful and you deserve to wear whatever the hell you want and feel damn good in it.
If you have any additional tips on how to be more confident, I’d LOVE to hear them! Comment below or hit me up on Insta :)